"I'm sorry, Mommy."

Apologizing may be one of the hardest things we want and need to teach our children. I believe all parents want their children to learn how to apologize for the wrong things they did – intentional or not. We have been instilling this value to Kiel since he was very little.  At times he will, though most of the time not voluntarily. I still have to tell him to do it and that is that only time he will say sorry. I sometimes feel frustrated, because I feel that I failed, as a mother, to teach him proper manners (yeah, I’m that hard on myself).

Yesterday, Kiel was very ‘makulit’ (hyperactive) during mass and he kept shouting even after we told him not to. Don’t get me wrong; I don’t expect Kiel or toddlers in general to behave in churches. They really don’t. But yesterday was extraordinary as he just kept on ignoring us and continued to yell and do some crazy things that I will not bore you with.

Fast forward. On our way home, I thought that his ‘act’ deserves a timeout and a trip to his little corner. But when we got inside the house, he said he was hungry so I gave him a snack first. I was still disappointed at him but we had to forego his corner time because we had to leave the house. We were in a hurry because the car that we booked via ÜBER was already waiting downstairs.

Inside the car, there were still occasional shouting and attention-seeking tactics. I was trying very hard to keep my cool and that was why I was giving him the ‘cold treatment’. Some few minutes passed and he kept quiet. Then suddenly he turned to me and said: “I’m sorry, Mommy.” That was music to my ears! I calmly asked him what he was sorry for. I wanted to know if he really meant it or he just felt the need to say sorry because I was already upset. He said that he was sorry for not listening to me and for lifting my shirt up during mass (yes, you read it right!). He knew what he was sorry for and he felt the need to apologize. All on his own! I was so happy! I gave him a big hug and told him not to do it again.

On that moment, I was very proud. Not for myself, but for the little man Kiel has become.  In the future, he may or may not constantly apologize if he does something wrong. Who knows, right? But frankly I’m okay with that. I know that I just need to be there for him to guide him so that, in time, he will completely understand the sense of it. I’m very positive that we’re off to a great start!

In the Eyes of my Son

On the first weekend of October, I accompanied my son, Kiel, to his school’s educational trip. My husband was not able to go and so was Kiel’s yaya (baby-sitter).  I did a lot of planning (in my mind) about how we were going to survive the day with just the two of us. Normally, I wouldn’t mind spending alone time with Kiel outside the house. In fact, I love our alone time.  Easy peasy, I must say. After more than 3 years of training, I can say I know how to handle him being so playful and mischievous. But that time was different. We had to get up very early (call time was 5:00-5:30 AM) and our first 2 stops in the itinerary were museums! Just imagining my kid inside a place where there are lots of fragile things to break sent shiver down my spine! Seriously! What I was looking forward to, though, was our last stop, Enchanted Kingdom. We’ve never been there with Kiel. I knew he would have lots of fun there.

This picture says it all!

Anyway, I thought I didn’t have any other choice after all so I just needed to breathe in and breathe out and hope for the best. I never, ever knew that I would learn something from this trip. It may not be from the places we’ve been, but how my son sees me when we’re together.

In the eyes of my son:

1. I am Superwoman.

He sees me as Superwoman, someone who can do ALL things. Why I said that? Here’s the story:

We passed by the skill games area where huge stuffed toys were displayed. He asked me how we could get a toy and I told him we had to play and win. So that’s what he asked me to do.  Unfortunately, we lost. He was very disappointed. And I, thinking it was just a waste of money, convinced him that we just go to the playground. He was still sad but he obliged. As we were walking away from that area, we saw his classmate, holding a very large stuffed toy, and said they won it. He got even more frustrated and asked me to play again. I told him I’m not good at it but was eventually sold out by his words: “You can do it, Mommy!” His classmate’s mom told me that we’d have high chances of winning if we play on the game where you have to throw balls and break 2 plates. We looked and found that area. With Kiel cheering for me, I gathered enough strength as I throw those balls with all my might thinking: “Let me win this. I just want to make my son happy.” I will never forget the look on my son’s face when I told him we won! He was so happy and excited while choosing a toy. What I got? A very tight hug, a kiss and a sweet “Thank you.” and Kiel’s word of encouragement “I told you, you’d win.”

He named his toy "Asa"

2. I am fearless.

I don’t really have that BIG fear when it comes to heights and amusement rides but I get that funny feeling in my tummy every time I ride the ferris wheel and I become slightly dizzy with rides. With Kiel riding the Wheel of Fate (twice), Flying Fiesta (twice), and 5 other rides, I dismissed the thought of fear so it didn’t get in the way and ruin the day. It made me realized that “Fear is not an option.” 

Look how happy he was! I, on the other hand won't let go of him.

Another shot at the Wheel of Fate (ferris wheel)

Flying Fiesta ride where all he did was shout, "This is so fun!"

3. I am a Beauty Queen.

Before going to Enchanted Kingdom, we spent the entire morning in UPLB. We went to UPLB’s Botanical Garden to have lunch. I’m honestly tired of chasing and preventing Kiel from breaking things from the 2 museums we’ve been to. My patience is growing very thin when Kiel ran away from me again! I was ready to have “The Talk” but I changed my mind instantly after discovering what he’s up to. He ran so he could pick up a flower for both of us. He handed one over to me saying: “Flowers for you, Mommy.” My heart melted right away. I felt a little guilty for being so uptight with him when he only wanted to do something nice for me. Though Kiel constantly associates me with the character of Gloria in Madagascar (Yes, the Hippo!), I felt like a beauty queen, at least in my son’s eyes. 

4. I am a kid just like him.

He wanted me to chase him, run around with him, play with him and make silly faces with him. He wants me to laugh with him while he watches videos in his iPad. In his eyes, I’m a kid, just like him. 

Riding the carousel

He said he's a magnet :)

5. I am a gladiatrix.

It was around 5PM in Enchanted Kingdom. We have been walking, playing and trying out the rides for the past 5 hours so I decided it was time to have snacks at one of EK’s cafeteria (near the Space Shuttle ride) before we head back to our designated bus. We were both exhausted and Kiel was very sleepy. He was closing his eyes while munching his fries. That sleepy! He told me he was very tired because he was constantly screaming, “This is fun!” while trying out the rides. I carried him and he instantly fell asleep. I walked from there, carrying a dead weight until we reach the parking area where the buses are standing by. 

So knocked up he slept the entire trip going back to the city.

The day was indeed very exhausting but I can say it was worth it! My son had so much fun and we brought back great bonding moments that we’ll treasure for a long time.  Moreover, the trip gave me insights on how my son sees me. I myself would not see those personas in me, but you know kids – there’s so much truth in their eyes so I might as well believe in how my son Kiel sees me.